...written all over my heart.

Dear God

The moment I first saw Your wonders
It was as if I bloomed  for the first time like flowers
Your grace and Your love has woken me up inside
You promised that You'll never let my foot slip
As you encouraged me to walk on water
While I held my gaze with yours
With complete faith I walked and I was in no danger.

You have kept Your word to Your people for thousands of years
You have not let me down
Even when I sometimes forget You
As I have done so many many times
You still let me return to You
With open arms and no questions asked
To you I will always sing my praises
And forever I shall dwell in your house
And your love shall forever be written all over my heart.

....her most true colors

I always thought I knew better,
Every time I would say "Never will it happen to me."
Always I believed that everything was under control
I believed that I can handle my own
No matter how young or old I was
It's all in my control and it will play as I see fit

I let it slide when the first crack occurred,
After all it was just a crack
My front view was unhindered
I could still see forward perfectly
So there was no need for me to fix
What I truly believed was not broken.

Then a little stone was cast in my direction
I said to myself "...well it's so tiny you can hardly see it"
So I just went on living still,
The view was still unimpaired
I went on as if all was perfect
Moving on is the best cure ever!

I missed all the little stones that were slowly piling up
As time went by I felt even more in control
Never did I notice the smaller yet bigger picture
Was so focused to the front,
That when I looked to my side,
It was too late
I gasped for breath in shock
How could this have happened?
I had it all under control, didn't I?
But I didn't, all there was, was emptiness,
There was nothing but pitch black
My greatest stupidity had taken over,
What I thought was my kindness,
What I truly believed was my forgiving heart
Was merely nothing but the greatest lack of back bone.

And now I'm looking at nothing,
Except the tiniest view of light I have left in front of me
And in my deepest heart I ignore the most agonizing fact
That sooner or later the walls will begin to close in on me,
And all that will be left would be what I fear the most,
....darkness as she reveals to me her most true colors.

He knows me, He knows me NOT!!!

Recalling the first words he ever spoke to me
"Hi, nice to meet you." He said.
Breathing heavily I replied, "Nice to meet you too."

Never have I felt this way before
My head was spinning,
The world appeared shaded and gray
The only spark of light that existed was from his eyes
As he looked at me as if I was the only one in the world
It was as if seeing my face made his world a whole lot better and brighter.

Oh the first time I heard him say my name
In that moment it was a if everything fell into place
The world made sense again
I longed to wake up to a new day where he existed everyday

All of a sudden I hear a loud ring
I ignore it at first, but it keeps on ringing
It's annoying me, it's ruining everything
I NEED TO SHUT IT OUT!!!
But I can't, it keeps on ringing and ringing and ringing.
I blink very hard while placing my hands over ears.
Hoping it would go away, I open my eyes.
I hear the ringing still,
I look across my room where my alarm sits.
Oh I could hear it's mocking voice behind the ringing
"It's 6h30 am fool, wakey, wakey. Reality calls.."
Maybe it won't be so  bad today.

There he was as I returned from my busy day
"It's 11h20 am"
He stood so perfectly in front of the mirror,
As he fastened his tie, getting ready for work.
I have to avoid him before my dream is ruined like did the alarm
But I have to go through the door
"Maybe it'll be just fine"
He sees me, I see him,
I can't breathe, I'm shaking, everything is a blur
He turns around and next to him stood his friend
I greet politely, he greets back
Without even looking at me
He carries on talking to his friend
And there it was, "Still invisible"
It doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter.
He doesn't know me, I don't know him.
But my heart sank in sadness,
He did not look at me with a spark of light in his eyes.
I don't care though, right?
I do care, it's killing me slowly inside
And the fact that there is nothing I can do about it,
Steals my last breath that I can barely even afford....

And as always....
Reality called...I came...It bit.

My silly dreams...

All I want is to control my travelings
I'd love to get behind the stirring
I'd love to stir to where my heart wishes to be
While playing 'Singing me home'
As I make the left turn where the forest begins
I will sing out loud in joy,
I will be singing me home
I will be home.

"She's a principessa."

Anyone who knows Cinderella knows she was kind
It was said that her heart was as beautiful as the stars
Her eyes were fashioned out of something a beautiful as the moon
Her wisdom was something that every one envied
And her soul was beautiful and intoxicating

She wasn't perfect,
Which was what made her perfect.

Her life was the opposite of all she was
It was no where near beautiful
Nobody in this world envied it
The only beauty she was close to was seeing the stars every night.

A happy ever after was all she wanted
A happy ever after she did not think she was worthy of
If she had a dime, for every time she called God's name
She believed that she would be worthy

She did not know the key to her worth
She was not aware of her worth

Just like every other love story,
She met her knight and shining armor
He saw the beauty of her soul,
The kindness that radiated off her every second
He did not envy her wisdom
He wished to learn from her
He saw how graceful she was,
And from that very moment he knew,
"She's a principessa."

Happy birthday princess.....thank you for the beautiful stories:)

There's a slight possibility.....

That underneath the good lies the bad,
Even though it cannot be seen at first glance
Someday it is bound to and thus will surface.
Just as the same, in the bad lies the good

There's a slight possibility,
That mistakes are not forgiven,
And second chances are not given,
Rather mistakes are forgotten
An that life goes on

There's a slight possibility,
That the truth is overlooked
So that peace can be maintained
That some know not of love
However very familiar with peace
So their minds are always at ease.

'Oh how I hate crying'

All I wanted was a friend
I did not want you to control me
I did not want you to use me
I gave you my heart
I let you into my life
What a fool I was
All I wanted was a friend
You told me not to waste your time
You told me I talk nonsense
You told me to give you what you want
You called me a bitch
You said I'm not the nice one
I'm not the nice one

    All I wanted was a friend                                                                     


All I got was not a friend
All I got was a list of demands
All I got was a set of rules
All I got was not an apology
All I got was a broken heart
All I wanted was a friend
And all I think about is cold
All I think about is the pain
All I think about is when you said 'will be done with you'
All I think about is I cannot befriend myself
All I think about is to let you go
All I wanted was a friend
All you wanted was what you wanted
All you wanted was what you demanded
All you wanted was what pleased only you
All you wanted was what worked for you
All you wanted was just to pass time
All you wanted was to get better at your job
All you wanted was to better yourself
All you wanted was to help yourself
All you wanted was not me
And All I wanted was a friend
All I have is not a friend
All I have is not making me smile
All I have is breaking my heart
All I have is not what I wanted
All I have is not you
All I wanted was a friend
And now...
All I want to do is scream in tears
And All I can think of is '...oh how I hate crying..'