...written all over my heart.

Dear God

The moment I first saw Your wonders
It was as if I bloomed  for the first time like flowers
Your grace and Your love has woken me up inside
You promised that You'll never let my foot slip
As you encouraged me to walk on water
While I held my gaze with yours
With complete faith I walked and I was in no danger.

You have kept Your word to Your people for thousands of years
You have not let me down
Even when I sometimes forget You
As I have done so many many times
You still let me return to You
With open arms and no questions asked
To you I will always sing my praises
And forever I shall dwell in your house
And your love shall forever be written all over my heart.

....her most true colors

I always thought I knew better,
Every time I would say "Never will it happen to me."
Always I believed that everything was under control
I believed that I can handle my own
No matter how young or old I was
It's all in my control and it will play as I see fit

I let it slide when the first crack occurred,
After all it was just a crack
My front view was unhindered
I could still see forward perfectly
So there was no need for me to fix
What I truly believed was not broken.

Then a little stone was cast in my direction
I said to myself "...well it's so tiny you can hardly see it"
So I just went on living still,
The view was still unimpaired
I went on as if all was perfect
Moving on is the best cure ever!

I missed all the little stones that were slowly piling up
As time went by I felt even more in control
Never did I notice the smaller yet bigger picture
Was so focused to the front,
That when I looked to my side,
It was too late
I gasped for breath in shock
How could this have happened?
I had it all under control, didn't I?
But I didn't, all there was, was emptiness,
There was nothing but pitch black
My greatest stupidity had taken over,
What I thought was my kindness,
What I truly believed was my forgiving heart
Was merely nothing but the greatest lack of back bone.

And now I'm looking at nothing,
Except the tiniest view of light I have left in front of me
And in my deepest heart I ignore the most agonizing fact
That sooner or later the walls will begin to close in on me,
And all that will be left would be what I fear the most,
....darkness as she reveals to me her most true colors.

He knows me, He knows me NOT!!!

Recalling the first words he ever spoke to me
"Hi, nice to meet you." He said.
Breathing heavily I replied, "Nice to meet you too."

Never have I felt this way before
My head was spinning,
The world appeared shaded and gray
The only spark of light that existed was from his eyes
As he looked at me as if I was the only one in the world
It was as if seeing my face made his world a whole lot better and brighter.

Oh the first time I heard him say my name
In that moment it was a if everything fell into place
The world made sense again
I longed to wake up to a new day where he existed everyday

All of a sudden I hear a loud ring
I ignore it at first, but it keeps on ringing
It's annoying me, it's ruining everything
I NEED TO SHUT IT OUT!!!
But I can't, it keeps on ringing and ringing and ringing.
I blink very hard while placing my hands over ears.
Hoping it would go away, I open my eyes.
I hear the ringing still,
I look across my room where my alarm sits.
Oh I could hear it's mocking voice behind the ringing
"It's 6h30 am fool, wakey, wakey. Reality calls.."
Maybe it won't be so  bad today.

There he was as I returned from my busy day
"It's 11h20 am"
He stood so perfectly in front of the mirror,
As he fastened his tie, getting ready for work.
I have to avoid him before my dream is ruined like did the alarm
But I have to go through the door
"Maybe it'll be just fine"
He sees me, I see him,
I can't breathe, I'm shaking, everything is a blur
He turns around and next to him stood his friend
I greet politely, he greets back
Without even looking at me
He carries on talking to his friend
And there it was, "Still invisible"
It doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter.
He doesn't know me, I don't know him.
But my heart sank in sadness,
He did not look at me with a spark of light in his eyes.
I don't care though, right?
I do care, it's killing me slowly inside
And the fact that there is nothing I can do about it,
Steals my last breath that I can barely even afford....

And as always....
Reality called...I came...It bit.