Reverie

Just something I don’t want to do no more, reverie.

Day by day I fight the urge, to give in to my desires

Every minute my mind escapes reality, forgetting how much it bites.

When I finally get the bite, all I do is pretend I don’t care. Vanity.

This constant dreaming is an endless job of building castles in the air

Just when I pull the plug on all the emotions and let them sleep forever,

The weather changes, the sunsets before night time and the clouds gather,

Five thousand miles away I hear the sound of thunder,

It’s coming again, the rain flooding all my surroundings

The in rush of memories overwhelm me, what was dead now lives,

The sleeping dogs are no more lying instead barking all night.

                                     

 Finally the urge conquers me, 

Then I cannot hold it no more.

Through the final hour of the rain I make it.

It is the hour after that when the wind broke in

The fear of knowing it was all over brought more pain ,

Remember the walk we took on a park on that windy day

When we felt every moment pacing through our hearts.

That was when it was September and now it is May,

You are not only hours away, also a phone call away.

Agony has became my middle name.

 I still cry endless tears.

There I sit by my window wondering all sorts of things

What might be, what could’ve been or what must be.

Through the wind, I remain holding my phone tightly

My mind races with thoughts of shame,

If I dial your numbers and be rejected,

I will only have no one but me to blame.

So I close my eyes wishing for the lightning again

How I’d draw my curtains open, watching the thunder storm

While I let the lightning strike through my windows to my room

While I sit there, trying to feel something other than pain

The ending is the same either way,

I make the call anyway,

And as usual there’s no answer

How can there be?

They never made telephone lines for the dead.

....about where it all went wrong!

How is it that I wake up to a sunny day,
The trees next to my windows are slowly dancing back and forth,
The sun rises and shines as the rays pierce through the window,
Sending the surge of warmth right across the room,
The smell of the warmth wakes me right up to a brand new day,
What a beautiful day it was to be,
I was up and alive.....

Hours later I laid awake in my bed,
Listening to the sound of my voice as it tore across the room,
My throat was slowly thickening,
I found myself gasping for air,
Breathing in and out every second,
It was as if the trees had abandoned me and left me airless
I hung on tightly to my duvet as I felt like the world was spinning
The pillow I slept on was wet with tears that were falling nonstop
As I was thinking to myself  about where it all went wrong!