Today, tonight, this moment, is the moment I realise that I love him more than words can say, more than my heart can handle, more than my head can control and more than my tears can say....with this moment I realise, he is not mine, he is something borrowed and something I do not deserve to have. This moment is the moment I learn the truth...I love him and there is nothing I can do about it,nothing to do in this moment or any other moment....and after all the knowledge I have there is one thing I want now in this world, to lie in his arms like a baby all night and hold his hands for all times.....his heart is broken about the lost love that he had and all I am doing is giving him hope that he will get her back, that he deserves her, and I write all these words to him as the pieces of my heart slowly depart away from me....it will not break, but it will shatter into million pieces and when that happens, it will all be the same again, pick it up, put it together and live on like nothing ever happened, and someday I will think about him and it will not hurt as much.
I want to tell him, me, me, me, pick me. But I will not put myself through that again ever, I will not even speak of it, when it hurts too much I am afraid I am out of my depth here....
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