The inaction of my actions

I ran as fast as I could, while I stood still,
When I was tired I stopped and stood still                                            

I was hoping yet I had no hope
Longing and needing every day yet no desire
Flooded with inspiration yet nothing to admire
Got up after I fell yet I still laid down

I watched myself laugh out loud with the crowd,                  
While I wept like a baby inside my heart
I felt it all and I wasn't feeling anything
I woke up and was not awake.

To be alive yet not alive
To be happy yet not joyous
To be with people yet alone
To be sane yet insane

Was locked within the wall
With no way to escape

I ran as far as I could, while I stood still
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I am running as fast as I could
I ran as fast as I could, I did not stand still.